Whatifs
by Linxcat
Summary: Remus Lupin comes to terms with his 'whatifs' with help from two friends... DH Spoilers, RemusxDora


_"Your father would have wanted me to stick with you."_

_"I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you weren't sticking with your own kid, actually."_

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Remus Lupin stumbled out of the front door of Twelve Grimmauld Place, mind reeling.

"Don't move!" a voice yelled.

_Death Eater! _

"Petrificus Totalus!" he jabbed his wand at the cloaked figure, which toppled backwards, stiff as a board. He quickly cast a disillusionment charm so any backup that might come would not see him, whilst mentally scolding himself for being so careless.

He ventured over to the stunned Death Eater, raised his wand, and pressed it to the man's temple.

"Obliviate," he breathed. Immediately the eyes behind the mask went dreamy and unfocused. He grabbed an end of the cloak and disapparated.

Later, Antonin Dolohov would wake up and be totally surprised to find himself in a seat for the popular muggle rollercoaster _Stealth_. He would have about 3.2 seconds to ponder on this, before he shot off at over 80 miles an hour.

A moment later, Remus appeared in a small alleyway in the outskirts of London. He fell back against the wall and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

_"The man who taught me to fight dementors - a coward!"_

_Its true. Everything he said about me was true._

"Oh Merlin," he breathed, "I am such an idiot."

"An idiot? Remus John Lupin, you are complete ASSHOLE!"

"What?" His eyes snapped open. He wasn't expecting a reply…

In front of him were two men - the one that had spoken was tall with dark unruly hair and glasses. Beside him was another man with equally messy jet hair, but it was longer and he had a beard. He was scowling fiercely.

"You heard him. What the hell did you think you were doing, running out on my cousin?"

"I…I…_Sirius_? _James_?"

James raised his eyebrows. "Yep. Explanation now, please?"

"But…but you're _dead_." Remus stuttered, still unable to take in that his two friends were talking to him from beyond the grave. Sirius snorted.

"We're fully aware of that, Moony. Just think of this as a hallucination. Now what in the name of Merlin's most baggy y-fronts where you thinking when you left your wife?"

Remus stared at his friends for a few seconds, before muttering, "Something very stupid."

"Ah," James nodded, "That's true. But there must have been some kind of reason. Heck, you upset Lily!"

Remus winced, a little bemused, "Uh, sorry?"

"You're gonna have to come up with better than that to apologise to Nymphadora. She is a Black, remember. She could have you grovelling for the rest of your life. Got anything to say in your defence?" Sirius leant forwards, arms folded.

Remus sighed. Was he going mad? He had no idea. All he knew was that he had someone to talk to - whether they were real or not wasn't a big deal. He glanced at them both, as if afraid they might disappear at any moment.

"If you know…what happened, surely you know what I told Harry?" he replied. James's expression became a little colder.

"I am aware of what you said to my son, yes." His face was stony, but Remus was certain he was not happy.

_Uh oh._

"It was a load of rubbish!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus turned to him.

"What? I-"

"Lets go through his reasons and explore how they are flawed, shall we James?" Sirius asked, a smile tugging at his mouth.

"If it's the only way he'll see sense," James replied, slight sparkle of amusement in his eyes.

"Her parents hate me." Remus started, arms folded. James frowned.

"Do you have proof they hate you? Have they mistreated you?"

"…No."

"Have they behaved in an unfriendly manner towards you?"

"Well…they didn't take the news of our engagement well, but Tonks did only tell them a week before the wedding-"

"Have they ever told you outright that they hate you?"

"Uh," Remus looked at his feet, "No."

"Then you can't say that they hate you." James finished triumphantly. Remus sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hello, guys, I'm a _werewolf_! Who wants their only daughter to marry a werewolf??"

"That may have been what they thought at first, but I've met Andromeda and Ted. 'Dromeda may have the Black temper and disposition, but she'll come round eventually. She loves Dora too much to stop her being happy. And Ted's a great guy." Sirius paused, and smiled, "If you think you've got it bad with them, think about how much crap Ted must've gotten from _his_ in-laws. A muggle-born marrying a Black was pure scandal back then - probably still is now."

"One ridiculous reason down; goodness-knows how many to go." James mimed banging a hammer, then turned expectantly to Remus.

"The baby might be a werewolf. How could I ever live with myself knowing that I may have inflicted my lycanthropy on an innocent child?" Remus's eyes were wide now, beseeching his friends to understand. Sirius shrugged.

"Hey, man, what's done is done. You can only spend so long wallowing in what-ifs. So get outta the pool and get on with it."

Remus chewed his lip and glanced at James for his opinion.

"There's always a chance that the baby won't have your werewolf genes. It could get Dora's metamorphing ability instead."

"Yeah, and even if it is a werewolf, full moons can be, like, father-child bonding nights!" Sirius said eagerly. Remus managed a smile. The scenarios didn't seem so bad, thinking again. He hated sleeping in inns and taverns; he missed the warmth of sleeping beside a loved one. And most of all, he missed her. But there was always that nagging fear, tugging at his heart…

"Ok…suppose I have been convinced to go home…what if she doesn't take me back?"

James and Sirius equalled his gaze quite solemnly.

"Then you do whatever it takes until she does." James replied.

Sirius nodded, "Seconded."

Remus closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "I will." He breathed.

"So…you ready to go back now? Ready to admit your mistakes and start grovelling?" Sirius was grinning now. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"If I start now, she might have forgiven me by next year."

"That's the spirit!" James chuckled, slapping his friend on the back. "Here we are."

Remus looked up. He had no idea how he'd got there, but there they were, outside the house. He'd know that front door anywhere.

"I would suggest you get one of Fred and George's _protego_-hats, but then again, you probably deserve whatever she throws at you." Although he probably meant well, Sirius's words were not particularly reassuring to Remus.

"In you go. Remember to grovel and apologise, and take whatever she gives you." James patted him on the shoulder.

"We're rooting for you!" Sirius gave him thumbs up. "See ya!" Remus tried to turn and yell for his lost friends to come back, but everything was going fuzzy and suddenly it was all black-

"-such an idiot." Remus groaned, without realising the words were escaping his lips. He blinked in surprise. He was back in the alleyway, somewhere in the outskirts of London.

He stepped back and looked around. No dead friends appearing.

Was it just a dream? What had Sirius called it - a hallucination?

He rubbed his eyes, then smiled a little (although it came out like a grimace) as he remembered Sirius's parting words

_"We'll be rooting for you!"_

Remus Lupin closed his eyes and prepared to do something that would influence the rest of his life.

He was going to forget all of the what-ifs, and go home.


End file.
